Present Day – Episode 6

This Month’s Episode

In conversation with hair stylist Paige Diamond

And so we come to the present day in the Right Time Write Now journey, and the final episode in this season.

In this episode author and creative writing coach, Nicola McDonald, encourages us to explore how the choices we have made have had an impact on where we are now.

Nicola reflects on the themes covered over the last six months inviting us to think about how we find and recognise daily moments of joy, how we nurture self awareness and the importance of self care.

We also hear the final chapter of Nicola’s story where she talks about her life with rosacea and how she has made peace with the woman in the mirror.

In this episode Nicola talks to her hair stylist Paige Diamond about how the way we look influences the way we feel about ourselves.


Paige Diamond Bio

Paige Diamond is based in Surrey. She started her mobile hairdressing business, The Glamour BnK in 2018 and has been professionally transforming looks through colour, cuts, extensions and styles for 15 years.
Get in touch with Paige on Facebook: The Glamour Bnk or Instagram: @TheGlamourBnK


Over six monthly episodes Right Time Write Now encourages you to explore writing to reveal the joy of being human. Write 1250 words after each episode and complete your own novelette by the time the series ends.

Nicola McDonald is a creative coach and author of “Plain Janey” and “In Search of the Christmas Spirit”.

Follow me…
Instagram: @writeyourwaycoach_auth_podcast

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolamcdonaldwriteyourway 

For more writing prompts and for information about my writing courses, sign up to my newsletter at https://nicolamcdonald.substack.com

Work With Me:

Website: https://writeyourway.co.uk

If you are enjoying Right Time Write Now, please rate or review it and don’t forget to share it too!

This series is produced by Big Tent Media.


RTWN06 Transcript

SPEAKERS
Nicola McDonald, Paige

Paige 00:03
Welcome to Right Time Write Now, a monthly podcast helping you to write yourself into a better place. My name is Nicola McDonald. I’m a creative coach and writer. And each month I will be coaching you through a writing exercise to reveal the joy of being human. Ready to get curious and creative? Let’s get started.

Nicola McDonald 00:27
Hello, and welcome to the final episode in my series Right Time, Write Now. Thank you for tuning back in. I really hope you’ve enjoyed unpacking your story. It’s such a beautiful way to gain awareness. If you’ve just popped in out of curiosity or to participate, welcome. But to fully appreciate this process of this creative writing series, start at Episode One and work your way through to this final Episode Six in the series, Right Time Write Now. Alternatively, listen to all episodes first and if you are inspired, beginat Episode One and work your way from Joy to The Present Day.

Nicola McDonald 01:10
This month, I am asking you to explore the influence of your decisions on the present day. How have you kept the momentum going and held on to the feelings of joy in your every day?. This chapter is about how you have begun incorporating your understanding into your everyday so that you recognise joy and practice self care. It’s about the what is. As always let go of the idea of perfection. This podcast is not about how to get published. It’s for you to write your journey and discover how your empowered self made the change and found the courage to find joy, and how you continue to do that. It’s a free writing exercise, however, and whichever way you wish to express your awareness, go for it. Enjoy the process and have fun in the last episode, Episode Six. Keep an eye out for me, as I’ll be back in the not too distant future with more coaching and writing podcasts. But in the meantime, and as always, write first and edit later. If you need time to think about what I say or ask remember the pause button and take the time you need. So for the last episode, grab your preferred device to make notes, and when I’ve read through the section to take action, let your words flow. We’re looking for approximately 1250 words with each chapter feeling like a story in and of itself. But as always, I am not testing you. This is by you and for you. And if you wish to share with others like I am, then that’s also your choice. Just remember to use your voice, tell your story. As in previous episodes, I’ll give you some pointers to help you on your way at the end.

Nicola McDonald 03:07
In this final episode, I have the pleasure of speaking to Paige, my hairdresser who has become a friend over almost six years. She is full of energy and life smart and creative. She is a technician in her field of expertise. As her coach I have watched her grow in confidence and self worth. She has gained clarity on how she wishes to manage and structure her mobile hairdressing business model so that it works flexibly for her and her clients while she manages the day to day of her young family. I met Paige when I was experiencing a challenging time, a complete identity crisis following redundancy. I couldn’t decide on short or long hair and nothing I appear to do lifted me. My face felt insipid against the hair colour and style I had at that time. I had no idea what to do with her in the mirror. Hair is a sign of personal and public identity and mine was saying nothing about me when I met Paige. Externally I was as confused as the internal me. I’d identified myself by the title IT Manager in a corporate world. I’d been in STEM for three decades without the title, the role, who was I? What did I look like? My sister found the glamour bank website during a visit around that time. And Paige has been styling colouring and cutting my daughter, husband and my hair ever since. She refuses to cut my hair short again knowing the journey we’ve been on. In other words, she has your best interest at heart. What I love about Paige is that she will not give into my whims. She spends a little more time discovering why I have requested something and determining if that picture I sent or the colour and style I described is exactly what I mean. She will go the extra mile to provide the wise and consult knowledgeably with her explanation. Did you know that according to some Native American beliefs, hair is a sign of spiritual power? While in Sikh religion traditionally hair is uncut, as hair is viewed as a symbol of strength and holiness. Uncut hair symbolises denial of vanity and the acceptance of a simple life. For Buddhist monks shaving their heads and beards symbolises detachment from material possessions, and the casting aside of vanity. So it’s no wonder that hair holds such significance in society. I’m really looking forward to you meeting Paige a little later. But in the meantime, here’s the last story in the final episode of the series Right Time Write Now.

Nicola McDonald 05:57
Present Day – chapter six.

Nicola McDonald 06:01
So here we are and here we go. Full circle back to the present back to reality back to you and back to me today and presently. So what is and what gives? Lyrics of my childhood anthem – I’m nothing special. In fact, I’m a bit of a bore. Lyrics by Abba from the song Thank you for the Music. In my yesterday my child self honed in on these words, I’m nothing special. I’m a bit of a bore. It made sense to me. Then I felt I had no voice. Nobody seemed interested. I stood on the outside looking in, it appeared. I missed the lyrics that were better placed. Everyone listens when I start to sing. Every day I sang. No, not everyone listened, but many within my circle of friends, and in the confines of my family home did. I used to sing the front of the bus on day trips with the school when I lived in Germany. Teachers would hand me a mic and my peers made requests. After school on the steps of the running track, I’d sing and my friends would talk of setting up a band. Not one could play an instrument, but it didn’t matter. Hope is a beautiful driver. I think about my child self and I wish to give her a hug. She was needing. In my teens, I moved to the UK and sing in stopped as I navigated a schooling system so different from the many I had left. My passion for singing was superseded by the joy I also had for dancing. As a child, I believed if I didn’t sing in a band, I could eventually be like Pan’s People or Legs and Co on Top of the Pops. But with better choreography. It seemed so dated to me at that time. It’s a generational thing. Does anyone listening remember them? My friend Pam and I would dance the nights away at the weekend in South End. I earned £7.50 Washing dishes at Martin’s Newsagent just so that at the weekend we could let go of the week’s tension. £7.50 got the entrance fee and a drink. We barely stopped moving. I sang at home and stared until I took an opportunity to sing backing vocals in a band for a very short time, in my mid 20s. I loved it. Nerves would pinch my throat so that rather than a note there was a screech during rehearsals until I relaxed, but I felt alive. I express joy through lyrics written by somebody else. It’s good to notice how words change their meaning as we mature and learn to see clearer. Where life is the lesson and you see the world glorious and broken. And you reach an understanding and acceptance of self. The lyrics that became my tears as a child, today have a different meaning. I am nothing special. I just am uniquely me. The connotation of what they represent has changed in my adulthood. And yes, I can be boring too. If you don’t like the subject matter on which I speak. I’m okay with that. I just am uniquely me. As I write these words, I think of my friend Sarah whose eyes glazed over when I described what I did in IT some years ago. We are all a stitch in the tapestry of life. Without us there would be a hole in it. So we have to just let go and be ourselves in vibrancy and colour. Reframe your story and you rewire your brain.

Nicola McDonald 09:37
Navigating adulthood during painfully emotional times. I also used others lyrics to describe where I was at. Most significantly, That I Would be Good by Alanis Morissette, one of my favourite lyricists, alongside Pink. Each line was mine in that time of grieving. Her ability to feel like me became more relevant when I I found out she is also highly sensitive. But all of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men didn’t put me back together again. I did through professional help and support, I made my way back to me. Later I sang at our wedding for my husband in front of guests. I was petrified, but encouraged by friends.I practised in the loos. I forgot my lyrics during the performance, and then I took a deep breath, calmed down, and continued with the song so familiar to me. Whilst looking at my husband. He hung on every word. Life is like that. It presents you bumps. I still see him in that moment, triggers and memories. And between wrong song choices and choking my X Factor audition didn’t evoke the same loving faces. Life is turbulent and jubilant. Know when to take it personal or when to try again.

Nicola McDonald 11:02
It’s March 2023. I took my trip four months ago. Of course, my stories live on in my journal and I’ve created a whole podcast series with my learning. I am as you are, unwrapping my story returning to self, the real one, not a semblance of me. And I have not entirely broken through yet, because I’ve not finished living yet. But what can I honestly reveal about my return home and how I keep this momentum going. I have always placed much value on using my intelligence to drive me forward. I love to learn. I may have mentioned that once or twice. More courses, more reading, more writing, more. But the body that is taking me there is being neglected and taken for granted while I feed my brain, nourish it with information. I can’t imagine I will ever stop this pursuit for knowledge when the subject which is driving me is passion. However, I have started looking in the mirror. I mean, I actually have started looking in the mirror, not avoiding eye contact, not closing my mind to it. And I find myself so vulnerable. I began looking in the mirror properly in Australia. It hung over the sink in the bathroom and I refused to look up when I arrived. It for me held no more attraction than the ones around my house. I remember looking at one once and I didn’t know who she was, the woman staring back at me. She had changed. I had changed and I didn’t know what to make of it. I could tell you I had become older, that I saw wrinkles. It’s probably true. But that’s not it. It’s not enough. My mind and my face didn’t match. I felt out of sync. I really wish I had the words to name this feeling. It began many years ago this avoidance of me and her in the mirror. Once upon a time, three decades ago I developed rosacea. As I finish the sentence it occurs to me it sounds like something I choose or chose. I didn’t. The diagnosis to two years with antibiotics and steroid creams being prescribed. When nothing worked or merely served as a short term fix, I stopped pumping that which did not agree with my nervous system in and onto my body. There is no cure for rosacea. Age has seen it calm down in me. Books on what food or drink to avoid to the point where it seems impossible to meet the author’s opinions are plentiful and adorn my shelves. And I can’t stop the weather from being hot or cold any more than I can be fully in control of stressful situations. Rosacea is persistent and unforgiving in its nature. So back to what is.

Nicola McDonald 13:55
My wish list grew from a decision made four months ago when I came home and put the plans into motion. This podcast this storytelling is one of them. I have decided I’d like to get to know me well and love me better. It’s not something that I will achieve immediately. And it’s not something I’ve achieved wholeheartedly alone, ever. The beauty of life is knowing when and where to ask for help. And at the other end of my internal screams were women helping women to feel their best outside in from within the beauty industry. First Ivan, then Paige and now Monica, my latest angel. I don’t consider myself a vain person. But I do compare myself to other women whom I care for and revere, by their appearance. Confidence has an attitude and my friends wear it so well. I have had to acknowledge this unhelpful side of self. Only if you acknowledge something can something be done about the emotions you feel around it. Having made the decision to choose to get to know the woman that stares back at me from inside the mirror. That one that writes, coaches, talks on podcasts, the mother, the wife and the independent, free thinking adult, I have to get comfortable with my flesh. That woman in the mirror has Rosacea. And I have been unkind to her for far too long. And for as long as I can stand it. I want to feel connected again, I want to get to know myself. And I want to love the whole of this body which has got me to where I am today. I am forever a work in progress. I want the happiness I’m experiencing on the inside to reflect in my pores. And so I choose steps to like and then love the sum of who I am, in spite of my vulnerability. Allowing another to look directly at you, when you have chosen them to help you overcome is still a vulnerable experience before it becomes empowering. I’m asking for a new perspective from a woman who has the skill to help me through this period. And I’ll keep being supported by my other female entrepreneurs, beauty consultants on hair and nails. Because I like the idea of fully embracing my feminine as well as my intelligence. I’m looking forward to meeting me face to face on the other side of my exploration. And when wounds heal as I know they will, I’m sure the two of us will become good friends. In my what is, I will continue to write, continue to coach creatively, continue to be a voice. And I will continue to choose joy with family with friends with those I have not yet met. And when I need it I’ll retreat to solitude, I play more music again instead of continuous Audible. And I sing along to songs just because it feels good. So what gives? I have decided to let go of much that I cannot control. Worrying whenever a something or someone is not where I expect it or them to be does not help the object of my fear. And it’s exhausting for me. So I have to trust that they are responsible for themselves. Otherwise, I do them an injustice and clip their wings somewhat. Leave them no space. Time is the determining factor of my anxiety. Punctuality was always imperative. The list of things that could possibly be wrong if time wasn’t met was endless. And without context or explanation, it ended up in my mind’s eye with a dreaded knock at the door when anxiety ruled. As for me being late, it was never an option. Planning for eventualities before I set out on my journey has been an intrinsic part of my life from a young age. So I’m working on becoming out of step with time going forward. I’m only human and preparing for every event means in the majority of cases, you will arrive early. So when you could have been taking your time over a coffee or smelling the roses, you’re sat in a car or walking up and down the street waiting for time to meet your schedule. We live in a busy world and it’s time to stop and live with the what is. Life is already stressful without the added negative narrative and self talk. So I am letting go of the what if that I have nurtured for far too long. Look, there it goes. Hello, new dawn.

Nicola McDonald 18:38
I was very happy that Paige agreed to chatting with me. While taking a break waiting for my colour to take, I switched on the apparel mics. She sipped on her warm coffee and we got comfy on my green sofa, recalling how we met, first impressions and the journey she and we have taken together. So without further delay, I’d love you to meet Paige.

Nicola McDonald 19:00
How long have we known each other?

Paige 19:02
Six years?

Nicola McDonald 19:03
Yeah, I think six years.

Paige 19:04
Yeah,

Nicola McDonald 19:04
I think we I found you actually my sister found you in the summer wasn’t it? Was it May/June, kind of, that way?

Paige 19:13
Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 19:14
And what were you doing at the time? You were sort of hairdressing. But

Paige 19:18
yeah, I had young children. And I used to work in a salon. So I started doing mobile hairdressing.

Nicola McDonald 19:25
Yeah. And we found you your website. And I remember it was a she found you. And I found somebody else. And I kind of just looked at the website and went actually there’s a lot more energy on this one, which was your website. So

Paige 19:38
I’ve got a lot of energy. So and I think it was regarding your daughter’s hair first. It was a haircut for your daughter before we did yours. And then we had a chat about yours while I was here. I think was she 16?

Nicola McDonald 19:52
Oh my goodness. So do you remember coming in?

Paige 19:54
Yep, I remember coming in because I remember styling at the end. I had a new heat tool and I’m in by giving her more of a bouncy because I think she always likes her hair straight.

Nicola McDonald 20:03
Yeah.

Paige 20:03
So we did something different.

Nicola McDonald 20:04
Yeah.

Paige 20:05
I think you encouraged it. I think you did. Oh, yeah have something different. Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 20:08
So yeah. So do you remember meeting me? Yeah, I remember your meeting. I can still remember you meeting me. .

Paige 20:14
Yeah You were sitting at the table and you had your sunglasses on.

Nicola McDonald 20:19
Yeah, what were your thoughts?

Paige 20:21
I thought, What a diva!

Nicola McDonald 20:23
Yeah, and what are your thoughts since?

Paige 20:26
Ah completely different? Different? Yeah. Very, very different. You wasn’t very open.

Nicola McDonald 20:33
No, I was in a, what you didn’t know I was I was in a difficult headspace at the time.

Paige 20:38
Yeah, you were more very, very closed. Like now. Yeah. Yeah. You’re different.

Nicola McDonald 20:44
If I used to. I used to have my sunglasses on all the time. And they were like Audrey Hepburn ones.

Paige 20:49
Yeah, yeah.

Nicola McDonald 20:49
I really loved them, even though they were scratched or really covered most

Paige 20:56
They were really dark Yeah. Big statement.

Nicola McDonald 20:58
Yeah. Yeah. But actually, when, when I got ahold of you, I was really, really desperate. I remember being really desperate. My hair wasn’t really saying anything about me. And my hair was really important to me. I suppose it was reflecting the mood I was in at the time because I was going through redundancy. And I’d gone through a stage of just cutting it shorter and shorter, and shorter, and making it darker and darker and darker. So it kind of matched my glasses really.

Paige 21:25
Yeah. I think you were wearing all black clothes as well, because you’d got back from work.

Nicola McDonald 21:30
Yeah, I think the only statement I did have that wasn’t black was my shoes. Yeah, so I used to put funky shoes on. But everything else was black. And it was it was actually quite befitting the time. So yeah, so we met and you did a consultation with me, didn’t you?

Paige 21:47
Yeah. So we went lighter. Your first step was to go lighter, because it’s quite dark and very harsh. I thought it was very harsh, really. So I remember us just going lighter, stripping it and going to just a lighter brown. Yeah. And that’s where it all started. The hair journey that we’ve been on.

Nicola McDonald 22:10
Yeah, it’s yeah, it’s been quite a journey, actually. So what have I done? I’ve gone I’ve gone lighter.

Paige 22:16
Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 22:17
I’ve gone blonde.

Paige 22:18
Yeah. Longer extensions.

Nicola McDonald 22:20
Yes. I had Oh, yeah. They were quite I really liked the extensions. But actually, they were just too hot for me.

Paige 22:28
Yeah. You’ve got a lot of hair.

Nicola McDonald 22:29
Yeah. And I think the thing I like about you is, I’ll go, I’m going to do that. And you get no, I don’t think so. So you’ve already

Paige 22:36
I’ll advise. Yeah, I like to advise. Because sometimes I find what you’re looking for, and trying to show me isn’t actually what you want. Yeah. So I have to decipher.

Nicola McDonald 22:49
How do you determine that then, that’s interesting.

Paige 22:51
Just when I start like talking, I think there was that you’ve shown me an image before. And then when we actually started talking. It wasn’t any of that that you actually wanted.

Nicola McDonald 23:04
Yeah.

Paige 23:05
And we ended up with something completely different when you look at the photo, which then he was really happy about.

Nicola McDonald 23:11
Yeah. But that’s actually quite clever, isn’t it?

Paige 23:13
Yes.

Nicola McDonald 23:13
Actually giving you what you want, rather than or actually giving you what you need, rather than what you want? Or what you think you want.

Paige 23:21
Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 23:22
And that’s, I think that’s been a good journey for me and you because obviously, in the six years, I trust you completely. So I know if I send you an image and go, that’s what I want. And you actually, so I will look at it as a technician.

Paige 23:38
Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 23:38
And go, I’m sure you do. But actually, I don’t think this is going to work. Because Can you and you’re really good with what you do. Because you go I mean, your hair is straight, not not wavy or curly. So I’m not sure that we can manage that. Are you happy with it?

Paige 23:54
Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 23:55
And you’re very, very good. You’re very good at consult. You’re very good at your art. And it is art. I love watching your face actually. Thankfully, I don’t have mirrors in front of me. I’d actually talked about that on my podcast. I don’t like mirrors.

Paige 24:09
This is why this works.

Nicola McDonald 24:11
But it works. But I’m also starting to look in the mirror more. But how long have you been hairdressing?

Paige 24:18
Very young. So it started my mum said she used to buy me Barbies. And I used to cut their hair off and then I’d cry, so she’d buy me another one. And then my brother seemed to just date hairdresses at one point. And I remember getting like a Bratz head doll for Christmas and putting colour on it. My mum buying hair dye and then my mum had a couple of mobile hairdressers and I used to help them with the foils. It just always excited me. And then I was 14. And my brother’s girlfriend at the time worked in a big salon and they needed someone to come in after school. They just needed some help. So she called me and I remember being at school and she called me and she said, Would you like to come in after school? So I remember rushing home like Mum, can you take me to the salon, and I just loved it. I fell in love with the music, the vibe…

Nicola McDonald 25:16
How old were you?

Paige 25:16
14, so the music, the vibe, the people the fashion, the team. It was amazing. So then I started doing Sundays. And then from Sundays I started doing Saturdays. And it was a completely different vibe on a Saturday because it was it was hectic, it was chaos. It was so busy.

Nicola McDonald 25:38
So what did you actually do while you were there?

Paige 25:40
So washing hair, sweeping hair. I then as they started to trust me to help mixing up the colours, ripping foils, looking after guests and a lot of cleaning, looking after clients. So drinks…

Nicola McDonald 25:52
I suppose, you let the clients go out glamorous, but actually when you started, it wasn’t very glamorous.

Paige 25:59
Oh, no. And I fell in love with it at that point. Yeah, like the cleaning. Everything had to be cleaned. My boss was very particular. We had to be well dressed like nails done everything. He was very. So yeah, so that was so then I went to a Saturday girl. And then there was too many people in on a Saturday. So I went back to Sunday. And I got upset because I loved the whole buzz of a Saturday. I think looking back now most of them were maybe I shouldn’t say this but hung over on a Saturday. They’d partied on the Saturday night and this sets the vibe on a Sunday wasn’t as part of Saturday, pumping. Yeah, Saturday, it was pumping. Then I started going in half terms. And I would work all the hours. I just was obsessed. I wanted to be there and I had a great mum who Yeah, was able to take me, pick me up. Then I started helping with British Hairdressing Awards. photoshoots. All the creative side. Hair on a TV programme. I went everywhere. We was in I was travelling to central London. It was yeah, it was amazing.

Nicola McDonald 27:08
Yeah.

Paige 27:09
And then it come to picking my options at school. And I didn’t really thrive in the school environment. It wasn’t really for me.

Nicola McDonald 27:20
What were the difficulties at school?

Paige 27:22
School wasn’t stimulating. I found it was very clicky with people ,groups of, of girls,

Nicola McDonald 27:31
I had that. Most of my friends during school were actually boys.

Paige 27:35
I also felt I have, I have three older brothers and I used to dance before hair. I used to dance and I was always with the older girls. And I think I was very mature and I found being told what to do and just being with the girls at school it was very immature.

Nicola McDonald 27:56
Yeah.

Paige 27:56
And I was very mature.

Nicola McDonald 27:58
So what was different about hair then? Because you left school

Paige 28:01
My opinion was or I felt like I had a voice. I was listened to. I feel like school you’re not.

Nicola McDonald 28:09
Was it also expression because when I write,I love it so much because I can just say what I want on a piece.

Paige 28:18
Yeah, yeah, exactly that

Nicola McDonald 28:19
You can let some of you out on somebody’s head.

Paige 28:22
Yeah, I didn’t Yeah, I didn’t I remember having like now because I know what the feeling is. I remember having anxiety at school and feeling very uncomfortable.

Nicola McDonald 28:30
Yeah.

Paige 28:31
And I remember it’s just because I’m very individual. I think and yeah, I think you can’t be individual at school. No, it’s there’s no way for you to be individual. It’s very you follow this curriculum and you do this and you do that and everyone’s the same. If you had a different haircut to everyone else then you got you singled out for it. Yeah, you can’t stand out were when I went into hair. If you would see some of the crazy hairs that I had I’ve really stood out where I actually remember going into school so obviously I was doing the whole salon thing half terms evenings you literally couldn’t get me out of there. And I was a model so they used to do all the cutting and colouring and I was a model.

Nicola McDonald 29:15
So you were experimented on.

Paige 29:17
Yeah, yeah.

Nicola McDonald 29:18
And did you mind?

Paige 29:18
No I loved it. Absolutely loved it. And I remember how going really short pixie with a pink bit through my fringe. And I remember going to school and the boys took the mick out of me. Like yeah, everyone made me feel awful. And then it’s really funny because I then left school early. And then like two years later, everyone started doing it.

Nicola McDonald 29:44
Yeah. So you were ahead of the curve?

Paige 29:46
Yeah, always. Always ahead

Nicola McDonald 29:48
and independent.

Paige 29:49
Yeah, that’s your colour.

Nicola McDonald 29:53
Okay, so Paige and I have had a little break. What did you do to me, Paige?

Paige 29:58
We cut it and stuled it, and we have coloured it.

Nicola McDonald 30:01
Yeah.

Paige 30:01
Nice, fresh shiny colour.

Nicola McDonald 30:03
Yeah.

Paige 30:04
And something a little bit different with the cut but nothing too dramatic. But enough to just give you that little asymmetric lob.

Nicola McDonald 30:12
One sides a little bit shorter than the other. And I quite like it.

Paige 30:15
And we did some lovely waves here.

Nicola McDonald 30:18
Yeah, actually really nice. Yeah.

Nicola McDonald 30:20
So sitting here in my onesie?

Paige 30:24
The beauty of having it done from home.

Nicola McDonald 30:25
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And that’s what I like as well. It’s actually we’ve, we’ve done a few haven’t we? We’ve tried your place. Because obviously, we’ve known each other a very long time now. So things change in your life and you want to be closer to the kids. And then you had it set up in your

Paige 30:43
Yeah, my like dining area.

Nicola McDonald 30:44
You, if I remember right, you kind of missed the social side of it?

Paige 30:49
Yeah. It just felt like, because I had the kids and then I got a dog. It was just it was too much. I needed to get out. It just everything went into one. Yeah. And I just wanted to get out and hairdressing, I’m Paige, were when I was at home. I was wife, mom. I was everything. Sorting the dog out…

Nicola McDonald 31:16
Yeah. And I can remember actually, you had your dog was a puppy at the time. So you were trying to manage your clients and the dogs coming up wanting to play that kind of thing.

Paige 31:26
Yeah nightmare.

Nicola McDonald 31:27
I remember and you thought you’ve kind of fallen in and out of love with hairdressing, haven’t you over the years yet? Also, because it’s a different? It depends where you are at the time. What’s going on at home in your life?

Paige 31:39
Yeah, I lost my spark and creativity. I feel like for a bit, I still feel that I was providing a good service.

Nicola McDonald 31:46
Yeah, definitely.

Paige 31:47
But within inside, because it’s quite creative. And it is a passion of mine. When you’re we kind of lose that inside of yourself. It’s hard to keep that up.

Nicola McDonald 31:59
Yeah. And basically, you’re you’re a one person business, aren’t you? So it’s trying to be everything to everybody at home,

Paige 32:07
give your all to everything. I also the way that I am. I like to give my all to everything. And that’s why it didn’t work working at home anymore. Because I felt like I was juggling too many plates when all I wanted to do was focus on the hair. And that person. So yeah, it just felt too much. And now I have got everything in my little case and I go to their house. I get lunch made for me and coffee.

Nicola McDonald 32:33
We had scrambled eggs today, didn’t we?

Paige 32:35
Yeah. And it feels like you know, for me, it kind of feels like a day out. Doing what I love as well. Having a chat. Yeah, I love that.

Nicola McDonald 32:44
You also, like socialising?

Paige 32:47
Yeah, it’s my social time. I build such a bond with, you’re not just my clients. You’re more than that. And I feel like I go through a lot of people’s journeys with them. As a hairdresser, people do tell you a lot. And vice versa, and you just build that bond relationship and trust.

Nicola McDonald 33:05
Yeah.

Paige 33:05
And that’s probably one of my favourite things about it as well. Feeling comfortable with someone. So that they can tell you things because that then will transpire to the hair. Like you were saying like when I first met you that was that? That was that? And yeah, we can, we go through journeys together.

Nicola McDonald 33:23
Yeah, I think hair for I think for for every woman, I believe hair is important, whether it’s short or long. It’s it’s kind of a statement. I’d underestimated, or not really thought about how much it was helping me because I talked about rosacea, but and I used to hide behind my hair. Obviously, last few years, I’ve been a bit better a bit more confident. So I don’t do that as much. But yeah, this hair journey, and it’s a little bit like, once upon a time I used to move my room around constantly. I mean, I just couldn’t I’d sit there every three months and go, I need to move this around. I like my hair being different. What you do for me is actually go I don’t think that’s going to work for you, Nicola. You know, it’s not I get where you’re going. But I suppose you said something interesting in the beginning is that sometimes it’s what you’re asking me to do is not really what you want. So you’re coaching as well like, you’re right let’s get to the bottom of this.

Paige 34:26
Like deciphering why you feel that way.

Nicola McDonald 34:27
Why do you want yellow stripes and pink spots? What what is it about that that you’re actually trying to say, kind of thing. So but yeah, so. So why do you actually love this? Because obviously, we’ve had a coach coachee relationship. So as well, we’ve had that relationship. So I know what your journey has been like quite intricately, but hopefully I’m not saying anything out of turn. But you when you had your fallout with hairdressing, it was never really the hairdressing was it?

Paige 34:59
No. It was it was depot it was a thing that made me think I was. So how women like to change their hair, I was trying to change things not realising the root of the problem. Yeah. And that’s why I ended up falling out of yeah no not falling out of love with it but my my just my my my spark had gone in life in general.

Nicola McDonald 35:24
So we had to try and get that back and a bit like you did with my hair. And me going I want this completely outrageous. And you’re going it’s not happening. Or yeah, let’s go with that. This is what we sort of unpacked with it. And it actually transpired that you do love hairdressing.

Paige 35:42
Love it.

Nicola McDonald 35:42
You just had so much else going on. It was kind of having that headspace to go this is how I want to grow my business. And it’s true that I’ve never I’ve never sat here after having my hair done and thought, oh, what went wrong there then? I’ve never I’ve always always gone. Yep. It’s like, I’ve got a spring in my step again, because it’s so important,

Paige 36:06
Also although it’s obviously my business as well, I love I love the actual hair side of it. I’m not a very business headed woman. I’m very like, I love I love doing the actual hair side of it.

Nicola McDonald 36:20
And I like watching your face when you do the hair. Because there’s a I can’t explain it. If you’re very creative. There’s like a concentration and almost like your face is moving with the scissors and that kind of thing. And you can see that there’s a lot going on in your in your head. While you’re I’m thinking she’s you’re cutting my hair, you’re thinking precision and everything else. And even, obviously, I’m getting older. So skin tone changes, it’s kind of also being brave enough to turn around to a client and say, I know, but actually with your skin tone now and that kind of thing. But you do it in such a sensitive way. And that’s why I’ve enjoyed it. I love your energy for a start.

Paige 37:04
This is this is why I think it’s important to get to know someone. Because the hair like we say runs deeper. Where sometimes if you’re going into lots of different hairdressers, or just doing one client here, one client there, you can’t get that relationship to know.

Nicola McDonald 37:21
Yeah.

Paige 37:22
And obviously as you get older and your skin tone changes and things like that, you wouldn’t know that if you don’t know that person. Yeah, that’s why I like the relationship that you build between it as well.

Nicola McDonald 37:32
Yeah, I had. I was just thinking when you said that I had I had a weird relationship with myself for a long time is that I do lots of inner work. But I felt vain when it came to the outer work. So it was almost like it had to be almost like a corporate thing. It’s, I just need my hair done. Because obviously I’m going into the office and doing this, that and the other. But actually, it’s it’s I like I said before I understand now it’s not a vanity thing. It’s much much more than that. It’s about expression. It’s no different to me putting on the shoes that I used to wear and the rest of it every day you wear it every day and it’s really really important. You obviously take care of me and lots of other women like me. Who looks after you then how do you determine to you do self care?

Paige 38:21
So I like the gym. Yeah, the gym is really good for me. And I also I like dogs. I’ve got a dog so I like to go out dog walking but like forests and part like yeah, adventures. Yeah, I love the adventure that it it brings a lack of good hike.

Nicola McDonald 38:40
Yeah.

Paige 38:42
Yeah, yeah. And Primark. I love to go to Primark.

Nicola McDonald 38:50
Tell me more about why you love what you’re doing.

Paige 38:55
I love, I’m very passionate about it. I love not only the feeling that I give to other people. But I get that feeling as well when it when it looks amazing. And I just see the best version of yourself.

Nicola McDonald 39:08
Yeah.

Paige 39:08
And that uplift that it gives that person

Nicola McDonald 39:11
What did you say to me before we started recording? You looked at me and said what?

Paige 39:15
You’ve had a glow up. Yeah, you look amazing. Yeah, your nails. The way you dress your hair. Just everything. Amazing.

Nicola McDonald 39:22
Yeah. Because I’m actually working on my skin at the moment as well. So I kind of feel loving coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I looked in the mirror now. And it’s so this goes back to me sending you a picture. And then you come in and you ask me questions, and then you do your interpretation of what you can do within the confines of my hair. Because obviously my hair is quite thick. But it also goes wavy. So but that’s what I love about you is when you come in and you go, I see what you’re doing. And here’s how we’re going to do it and the look in the mirror but because I don’t have a mirror in front of me all the time you’re doing this, and I love this. I love the reveal. Yeah, I don’t even look at my hair. You know, when I went upstairs washing it, I don’t even look at my hair, then it’s like, there’s a mirror in there. I don’t look, because I don’t want to see the colour. I just want to see the end result.

Paige 40:17
But to touch on the colour. So if we go back because we did this fresh new colour, beginning of the year when you felt like you needed a change?

Nicola McDonald 40:26
Yeah, it was something changed in me. Yeah.

Paige 40:29
So I like to send me a picture. And it was it was very dark. And it had grey ash like grey through Yeah. So when I remember, I remember coming out because I couldn’t explain. I don’t like explaining things over text. I like to have the hair in my hands, look at it and be thorough and go through and when we deciphered you wanted an uplift and wanted to be warm. But what you’d sent me was something actually dark and ashy. Now ashy is quite a cool tone. So it was very different to what you were describing what you saw. And what you were describing. Were two different things. That’s where I come in. I was like, oh, so then we got the colour chart out. And then that’s how we got completely different.

Nicola McDonald 41:11
It’s copper! So I went and I actually went for copper

Paige 41:15
Yeah, very warm, very uplifting. Where the original one, you would have felt dull? Yeah, you wouldn’t have felt the way that you felt now, on your skin tone, I think it would have been too harsh. We would have been going backwards to where we started when it was very dark.

Nicola McDonald 41:32
Yeah. I think the point of me sort of looking at that was there was part of me going do I, is it time for me to start embracing the fact that I do have grey underneath this beautiful colour?

Paige 41:46
Not a lot though. You feel like there’s more than there actually is.

Nicola McDonald 41:51
And this is, this is why I need people like you because I kind of do my own thing. I’m like you I’m very independent. I write my stories. I’m good at what I do. But there’s, there’s things that I have to accept that I’m not good at. And I’m not always the best person to tell me what to do.

Paige 42:11
And I do advise when it gets to the point, I wouldn’t ever let anyone if I thought this was best, it’s then your decision, but I will always advise to the best of my knowledge and the best that I

Nicola McDonald 42:23
Yeah. You’re basically a consultant.

Paige 42:27
Yeah, when we get to that stage, then we can, we can obviously change again. But I’m also always up to I always say, you know, we’re doing anything different today. Kind of Yeah, every time I come, I’ll just before I come, I always like to make sure what you want or whether you do fancy a change or something different.

Nicola McDonald 42:45
Yeah.

Paige 42:45
And if you don’t, that’s fine. But if you do, we can then also adapt and change.

Nicola McDonald 42:50
So where can people get ahold of you Paige?

Paige 42:52
I’m on Instagram, @theglamourbnk, but it’s B N K. And I have a Facebook page as well. And on there, I’ve got an email. And I have got a number as well, even if it’s just for a consultation.

Nicola McDonald 43:06
So that’s me and you done.

Paige 43:07
Yeah,

Nicola McDonald 43:08
Thank you. Thanks for being brave.

Paige 43:11
Thanks for having me.

Nicola McDonald 43:12
Thank you.

Nicola McDonald 43:20
Take action.

Nicola McDonald 43:21
I have loved taking this journey with you. So what is and what gives in your present day? It feels strange giving some of me up willingly giving you an insight into such a small part of my life. But how else can I show you that you can find joy by choosing to do something differently? or different? You just have to decide to commit. It’s been a pleasure being the voice through your speaker or headphones. Stay safe on your travels. I realise I have been greedy in my spilling of words, especially on my account to frame my story. I do love words. I hope you do too. It’s a special place to be at the other end of the question mark. It’s even better to be surprised by the unexpected when you’ve stopped questioning. I can’t believe this podcast is over already. I hope you have enjoyed your journey to the end of the series. This needn’t be the last time you unpack your learnings. You now have the tools to take this lesson forward.

Nicola McDonald 44:22
So what is and what gives on this present day? What is your takeaway? Know that choosing doesn’t have to mean permanency. Not all desires are meant to be long term. Some experiences are the catalysts that kick you up the butt, which you needed to open your eyes to other and others. I only have one question. How is your present day richer?

Nicola McDonald 44:51
This may mean looking at your life’s journey. I found myself jumping back to significant points in time to notice what I noticed. But the journey could begin at the point that joy taught you a lesson as in episode one. Remember, paint that picture in vivid colours. Write your own masterpiece and remember the emotions. Remember how you now feel. And if in the future you wish to coach yourself through the exercise again, look me up and start at episode one. In the future, not too far from here, I’ll be back with more for you to do and to guide you on your way to your life purposes. And if you want to stand up, find your way. If you want to stand out, find your way. If you wish solitude, find your way. Always, always be kind in your motivation and motives. Live your life well with care and joy and remember who you need to consider when you make choices. Who do you need to let go of? What do you need to grieve? Grow awareness instead of allowing fungi to permeate and sabotage your thoughts. I really hope you’ve had fun. I’ve loved stepping out with you like this very much.

Nicola McDonald 46:06
But before you go and pick up that device of choice, there’s a call to action, my fellow writers. Find a track from present day or one in the past that lifted you and your spirits, put on your headphones or turn up the volume on your stereo and move your body. Dance like there is no tomorrow. My artist of choice for this exercise was Pink and her song, I’m Never Not Going to Dance Again. I smiled a lot dancing around my kitchen, each muscle in my body joined in this jubilation. And then I wrote my chapter six, and then I got up and danced again. Memories of days spent clubbing, dancing with my friends, memories of my first date with my husband came flooding in. Memories that are food for my soul rushed in, and I’m creating new memories every day. The memory of dancing to Pink as I write the final episode of this series Right Time Write Now is already filed under joy.

Nicola McDonald 47:10
First and foremost, a big thank you to my sister, and to her horses, dogs and her chickens that I never knew I liked. To the beauty that is Australia for giving me room to spread out. I wouldn’t have written this podcast without the experience and the space given to return to self. Thank you to my husband, my family for all of their support and to my friends, and those who I have been fortunate to connect with on my travels. I really appreciate you. Thank you for making my journey interesting, splattering colour into my day. And to my guests, I can’t wait to see what comes next. Thank you for taking part in this education. Thank you all very much for tuning in. I hope to be part of your journey again. I’m already looking forward to drinking coffee and sharing muffins and brownies once again with my sister in another time, in another space.

Nicola McDonald 48:12
If you would like to check out my books, In Search of the Christmas Spirit is available from all major sites, Amazon Waterstones, Foyles and directly from the publisher Austin Macauley publishes. My ebook Plain Janey, less suitable for younger readers, can also be downloaded from major sites and from the publisher troubadour.co.uk. For anyone who is interested and who may benefit from knowing the history of MECFS, I also co authored a research to document the history of MECFS and the evolution and role of the CMRC from a patient’s perspective. This is available from MECFSalliance.org.uk All proceeds go to charity and if you do find yourself in a place where you would like some coaching, please contact me on Nicola.mcdonald.ppc.com. Take good care of yourselves everyone. And I leave you with this,

Nicola McDonald 49:16
When tomorrow comes.

Nicola McDonald 49:18
Tomorrow I will explore new horizons. Tomorrow I will see what lies beyond. Definitely tomorrow. And as the day dawned mojo your round far and beyond her comfort zone. Over rickety fences across manicured lawns down neighbouring streets high up in suburban trees. Mojo explored the length and breadth. Oh the tails Mojo would recite of dogs and mice and Kitty Spats and doing a snatch. If only you could understand the tails told him feline tongue. Instead Mojo sits and purrs contentment. Needs no words as she closes her eyes fulfilled and tired. Today’s adventure is already tomorrow’s story to remember. As you lay your head upon your pillow and dream that dream so vividly, that dream of possibilities, hold on to it in your waking hours, hold on to it. Put one foot in front of the other and explore each step alone or with help, love and support. And in the future when the past asks you how you’ve been, when the past asks about the decision made and challenges faced, what will you say? When tomorrow comes.

Nicola McDonald 50:45
Thank you for listening to this episode of Right Time Write Now. I would like to say thank you to a wonderful audio specialist and entrepreneur Suze from Big Tent Media who has helped make this podcast possible. And the thank you also goes to Emily from Emily Crosby Media who is assisting with the transcripts. If you have enjoyed listening then do tell a friend and consider leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts, or material in this podcast is the copyright of Nicola McDonald 2022 and must not be distributed without permission.